COCKROACH!!!
by Friezaess
Summary: What happens when the G-boys are confronted with... *gulp*... a little brown beetle known as a cockroach?


**COCKROACH!!!**

AN: The following is based on real life accounts. That's right peoples, I can sit through the 'Scream' trilogy without flinching, I can go into an exam room feeling completly at ease... but if there's a cockroach around, I run screaming into my bedroom and shut the door until someone kills it! And the flying ones are twice as bad! So here it is, a little fan-fic all about the Gundam boys and... cockroaches! ^.^

Disclaimer: *sounding like Schultz of 'Hogan's Heroes'* I own nothzing! ^_~

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It was a typical winter's morning in Quatre's large, comfy mansion.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

Well, sort of. A certain God of Death ran through the halls, braid swishing back and forth behind him, until he finally ran into Trowa- literally. The two fell to the floor in a heap.

"Duo! Watch where you're going!" The unibanged boy scolded as he picked himself up, only to be clung to by Duo.

"Help me, Trowa!" He cried, squeezing the poor 03 pilot so hard his eyes bulged.

"Let go!" He gasped, trying to free himself. A soft buzzing sound was heard. At this, Duo immediately let go.

"No no, get it away!" He whimpered, hiding behind Trowa. The buzzing sound grew closer and closer, until finally, the culprit was revealed- a little brown cockroach was flying quite innocently down the halls towards them on its morning stroll.

"Bzzzzzz!" {Hello!}

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" The two pilots screamed in unison, and immediately took off down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Kill it, Trowa!" Duo yelled as they ran.

"No way!" Came the reply. "I don't wanna be within ten feet of that thing!"

_~*~_

Wufei opened the door to his bedroom and stepped out into the hall, a content look on his face. Meditating always helped him dispose of his stress and focus. As he was about to make his way into the kitchen for a drink of water, two indistinguishable blurs- one with a braid- passed him at an alarming speed.

"What the" he stopped short, however, when he heard buzzing. Looking in the opposite direction from which the blurs came, he saw the happy little cockroach headed straight for him.

"COCKROACH!!!" He screamed, and raced off in the same direction as Duo and Trowa. Eventually, he caught up with them.

"Did you have a close encounter with the bug kind as well?" Duo asked as the trio rushed through the mansion in hopes of getting away from the insect.

"That baka weakling will pay for its insolence!" Wufei growled back.

"I'll take that as a yes'."

Soon, Quatre was running alongside the small group as well.

"Did you get scared by the cockroach too?" Trowa asked.

"Cockroach?" Quatre replied. "I thought you guys were chasing Duo for selling tapes of us in the shower to Dorothy again!"

For a moment, everyone stopped dead in their tracks and glared at Duo. A huge sweatdrop formed on the back of his head.

"Well how else am I supposed to pay for that fifty metre tall Pikachu I bought off eBay?" He retorted. The other three pilots were about to give him a piece of their mind, when the familiar buzzing reached their ears once more. Duo, Trowa and Wufei immediately took off, leaving Quatre quite confused and puzzled at everyone's sudden departure. But seconds later, after a deafening scream of "Ahhh! Cockroach!", he was quick to join the rest of the group in running for their lives. 

By now, the pilots were starting to feel tired from all that running.

"We can't keep this up forever!" Trowa panted.

"But what else can we do?" Wufei replied.

"Maybe Heero'll kill it!" The Heavyarms pilot answered. "After all, he's the perfect soldier."

"Do we have to kill it?" Quatre asked innocently. "I mean, it's just flying along, minding its own business what if it has a wife and kids?"

"Hey Cat," Duo said, "the cockroach is crawling on your back!"

"AHHHHH!!!" The Arabian pilot screeched, flailing about frantically. "KILL-IT-KILL-IT-KILL-IT!"

"I stand correct." The 02 pilot commented. Quatre glared at him, realising that it was just a prank.

"Let's find Heero." Wufei huffed, as the group continued at a rapid pace down the hall.

The soldier in question was making himself a peanut paste sandwich in the kitchen. As he sat down at the polished mahogany table to eat, four huffing, puffing and exhausted pilots ran in, and immediately tried to hide behind him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Heero asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

"KILL IT!!!" They all screamed back, causing the perfect soldier to drop his sandwich in shock from the sheer volume of their voices.

"What the {language that wouldn't make this fic G-rated} are you talking about?!" He sneered back.

"COCKROOOOOOOOOOOACH!!!" Came the frightened reply.

"Whack it with a shoe!" Wufei suggested.

"No, then it'll make that horrible crunching sound!" Duo remarked. "Spray it!"

"Just shoot it already!" Trowa whined, looking around with a paranoid look on his face just in case the foul beast flew up behind him.

"Kill it!" Quatre cried, bawling into Duo's braid. "I don't care how you do it, just kill it!"

"Hn." Heero grunted, moving towards a door that led outside.

"Hey, where are you going?" Trowa snapped. Heero turned to look at them, a glint of fear in his eyes that was usually only present when someone mentioned Relena.

" I'm not good with those bugs." He muttered, walking outside. The other pilots couldn't help but crack up laughing at the so-called _Perfect Soldier_'s weakness- Heero was scared of cockroaches! Little, brown, harmless

"Bzzzz"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!" The group screamed, quickly following Heero outside and slamming the door shut behind them.

"Bzzzzz" The little cockroach continued its journey through the mansion. It soon spotted an open window, and flew outside, far, far away from the estate, never to be seen again.

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It was late at night, and the snow had just begun to fall. On the lawn in front of Quatre's mansion, five nervous, shivering young men sat, wondering if it would ever be safe to enter the mansion again. Heero, clad only in his usual tank top and spandex, had turned a lovely shade of blue.

"Do you think it's gone?" Duo asked timidly, icicles forming on his nose.

"Do YOU want to be the one to go and check?" Wufei retorted, teeth chattering all the while. All the pilots shuddered at the very thought.

And so we leave our Gundam boys, paranoid and shivering in the snow- keep on trucking, fellas! ^_~

OWARI

Please review ^.^


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